Thank you for this, what I imagine is closely held by you, look into interacting with your Mom over the years. Your words give us a vision of the architecture of the relationship you both had.
For the last five years I have been almost 1000 miles away from my Mom, and have been several hundred miles away from my sister for longer, coming up on 30 years. For her age (80), Mom is pretty good with technology. She lives, as I have mentioned previously, on our isolated Montana ranch by herself. Her, my sister and I have a group text thread we keep going. Almost every morning one of us begins with a message, which is really reaching out to check in with one another. Especially Mom, as we want to be sure she is safe and well. Occasionally we FaceTime or Zoom. Even less occasionally we call on the phone. But we keep in touch often, us three girls.
That's such a great way to keep in touch, Jenny. I called my mom more frequently as her health declined. My son and I text more than talk on the phone. Technology's impact on communication is amazing.
Yes, and FaceTime or other video calls are a good way to actually see the other person. When I've not seen Mom for some time, seeing her even remotely gives me a good idea of how she is doing, despite what she may tell me.
Wow, this is lovely writing, Sue. I love your lead, and you kept poetic and heartfelt all the way through. Of course, all of us who read this cannot help but think of their own mothers now, reflecting upon the fraught and profoundly loving relationships between parent and child.
Thank you for this, Sue. It can be hard to know how often to connect w/adult kids. I have 3, scattered from AK to CO. During the pandemic, I got into the habit of emailing them on Friday mornings. I still do that, faithfully, just so they can be aware of what's going on with us and that we're still (at 85 and 79) relatively healthy. They respond in different ways: one by email, one w/Sunday phone, one w/texts. It's a comforting connection. Hope your birthday is a very happy one!
How interesting that your children respond differently. I think about just a over hundred years ago, mail was the primary method of communication, and it could take weeks. Thank you, Susan for your comment.
I hope your birthday was a happy one, Sue! My mother wrote letters, often enclosing clippings, and when email came along she would allow herself to send one email to me mid-week. I usually called her and my dad on Sundays. I was so busy in that era, and she worked hard to not be yet another demand on my time. I sure miss them.
Thanks, Barbara. Birthday was quiet - lunch in HR and back home. My mother didn't write letters but she sent me newspaper clippings for for many years. Each month, I rec'd 4 crossword puzzles she cut from the newspaper.
I don't know why it is so, much less how it is so, but I still feel in communication with both of my parents though they have been gone more than 8 years. This is particularly true with my mother. Like you and your mother, mom and I had weekly phone conversations for many years. She had a gift for words and humor which kept most of our conversations happy. These days I find that wit and spirit rides sidekick with me through most of my waking hours. Dad and I became closer as I cared for him. He was quiet by nature. We shared a love of animals. He had a way with them, which I inherited and that brought us closer together. So dad is with me when I am remembering to get up and feed the birds and find a midnight treat for my cat, when I fix one for myself. I so agree about the blessing of knowing that one is loved. The words were rarely spoken, but I always knew both of my parents were there for me, should the need arise. They never placed any limitation or expectations on me. I was some how infused with a sense that I could likely do anything I tried to do. Mom loved children and Christmas, so she helps with my Christmas spirit at this time of year.
Sandy, your folks sound wonderful. My mom also loved animals - almost to a fault. She was a failed foster of stray dogs and cats, adopting two dogs and multiple cats. She had a kind heart.
Happy belated birthday wishes, Sue. A bittersweet note by you that touches many tender and sore spots in my 73 years of living. While respecting our children's space/time, I try to reflect with them on our physical and mental status kind of to give them a heads up on what to prepare for as well as to seek reconciliation where needed before it's too late. Enjoy the winter with some mulled wine or cider
Thank you for this, what I imagine is closely held by you, look into interacting with your Mom over the years. Your words give us a vision of the architecture of the relationship you both had.
For the last five years I have been almost 1000 miles away from my Mom, and have been several hundred miles away from my sister for longer, coming up on 30 years. For her age (80), Mom is pretty good with technology. She lives, as I have mentioned previously, on our isolated Montana ranch by herself. Her, my sister and I have a group text thread we keep going. Almost every morning one of us begins with a message, which is really reaching out to check in with one another. Especially Mom, as we want to be sure she is safe and well. Occasionally we FaceTime or Zoom. Even less occasionally we call on the phone. But we keep in touch often, us three girls.
That's such a great way to keep in touch, Jenny. I called my mom more frequently as her health declined. My son and I text more than talk on the phone. Technology's impact on communication is amazing.
Yes, and FaceTime or other video calls are a good way to actually see the other person. When I've not seen Mom for some time, seeing her even remotely gives me a good idea of how she is doing, despite what she may tell me.
Wow, this is lovely writing, Sue. I love your lead, and you kept poetic and heartfelt all the way through. Of course, all of us who read this cannot help but think of their own mothers now, reflecting upon the fraught and profoundly loving relationships between parent and child.
Thank you, Rick. The parent-child bond can be profound in many ways.
Thank you for this, Sue. It can be hard to know how often to connect w/adult kids. I have 3, scattered from AK to CO. During the pandemic, I got into the habit of emailing them on Friday mornings. I still do that, faithfully, just so they can be aware of what's going on with us and that we're still (at 85 and 79) relatively healthy. They respond in different ways: one by email, one w/Sunday phone, one w/texts. It's a comforting connection. Hope your birthday is a very happy one!
How interesting that your children respond differently. I think about just a over hundred years ago, mail was the primary method of communication, and it could take weeks. Thank you, Susan for your comment.
I am so sorry, Sue. Thinking of you.
I hope your birthday was a happy one, Sue! My mother wrote letters, often enclosing clippings, and when email came along she would allow herself to send one email to me mid-week. I usually called her and my dad on Sundays. I was so busy in that era, and she worked hard to not be yet another demand on my time. I sure miss them.
Thanks, Barbara. Birthday was quiet - lunch in HR and back home. My mother didn't write letters but she sent me newspaper clippings for for many years. Each month, I rec'd 4 crossword puzzles she cut from the newspaper.
I don't know why it is so, much less how it is so, but I still feel in communication with both of my parents though they have been gone more than 8 years. This is particularly true with my mother. Like you and your mother, mom and I had weekly phone conversations for many years. She had a gift for words and humor which kept most of our conversations happy. These days I find that wit and spirit rides sidekick with me through most of my waking hours. Dad and I became closer as I cared for him. He was quiet by nature. We shared a love of animals. He had a way with them, which I inherited and that brought us closer together. So dad is with me when I am remembering to get up and feed the birds and find a midnight treat for my cat, when I fix one for myself. I so agree about the blessing of knowing that one is loved. The words were rarely spoken, but I always knew both of my parents were there for me, should the need arise. They never placed any limitation or expectations on me. I was some how infused with a sense that I could likely do anything I tried to do. Mom loved children and Christmas, so she helps with my Christmas spirit at this time of year.
Sandy, your folks sound wonderful. My mom also loved animals - almost to a fault. She was a failed foster of stray dogs and cats, adopting two dogs and multiple cats. She had a kind heart.
Poignant points about mother/daughter relationships. I so empathize.
Thank you Julia. It definitely is a unique relationship.
Happy belated birthday wishes, Sue. A bittersweet note by you that touches many tender and sore spots in my 73 years of living. While respecting our children's space/time, I try to reflect with them on our physical and mental status kind of to give them a heads up on what to prepare for as well as to seek reconciliation where needed before it's too late. Enjoy the winter with some mulled wine or cider
Thank you Meredith. Wise advice from you. Mulled cider is on this week's menu.